So here I am again. Getting nowhere; gradually losing ground.
I want to be healthy. I want to have strength, endurance, and ambition. I want to be able to work and think like I used to. And I know it all comes down to the chocolate.
Not that there is anything wrong with chocolate, by itself and in moderation. But it comes with sugar, and an addiction.
Sign I frequently have on my refrigerator:
Eating chocolate makes you want to do nothing but eat chocolate.
That's where I was a month ago. I didn't want to eat anything but chocolate, and I didn't want to *do* anything else.
I *have* found a way to pull myself out. It's based on the fact that getting sick will turn things around:
Lie down and do nothing.
It goes like this:
1. I'm feeling pretty good, and I start doing things.
2. I get too many things I have to do, and start feeling pressured.
3. I stay up later, in order to read, watch TV, or play games.
4. I can't keep up with everything, so I try to stimulate myself with caffeine, chocolate, or 5Hour.
5. I can't get enough sleep. Between getting up at 7:00 and getting to sleep after midnight, I can't catch up.
6. I have to keep pushing, so I use more caffeine, chocolate, or 5Hour.
7. And more chocolate.
8. And not enough sleep, and got to keep going ...
9. And more chocolate.
If I can find a day in which I don't have any emergency obligations, I can lie down on my bed, get caught up on sleep, rest, and detachment, maybe watch TV and read a book. Then I don't feel the need to push, and the kitchen is a long ways away.