New Focus?

So here I am again.  Getting nowhere; gradually losing ground.

I want to be healthy.  I want to have strength, endurance, and ambition.  I want to be able to work and think like I used to.  And I know it all comes down to the chocolate.

Not that there is anything wrong with chocolate, by itself and in moderation.  But it comes with sugar, and an addiction.

Sign I frequently have on my refrigerator:

Eating chocolate makes you want to do nothing but eat chocolate.

That's where I was a month ago.  I didn't want to eat anything but chocolate, and I didn't want to *do* anything else.

I *have* found a way to pull myself out.  It's based on the fact that getting sick will turn things around:

Lie down and do nothing.

It goes like this:

1. I'm feeling pretty good, and I start doing things.
2. I get too many things I have to do, and start feeling pressured.
3. I stay up later, in order to read, watch TV, or play games.
4. I can't keep up with everything, so I try to stimulate myself with caffeine, chocolate, or 5Hour.
5. I can't get enough sleep.  Between getting up at 7:00 and getting to sleep after midnight, I can't catch up.
6. I have to keep pushing, so I use more caffeine, chocolate, or 5Hour.
7. And more chocolate.
8. And not enough sleep, and got to keep going ...
9. And more chocolate.

If I can find a day in which I don't have any emergency obligations, I can lie down on my bed, get caught up on sleep, rest, and detachment, maybe watch TV and read a book.  Then I don't feel the need to push, and the kitchen is a long ways away.